Yesterday, for the second time in a week, I attended a memorial service. My spouse B and I attended services for Paul Everett. Paul and B had been co-workers at IBM for many years before Paul had to leave work for health reasons.
While Anita's had been a Catholic funeral, Paul's service was in the Reformed Protestant tradition. Because it was in non-liturgical form, the service was more easily molded to reflect Paul's life and gifts, which, if you read the obituary linked above, you will realize were many and varied.
For example, all the music in the service was arranged by Paul for folk instruments. Paul had hosted a weekly folk session for many years and compiled his beginner-friendly arrangements in the Wednesday Night Jam Canonical Tune Book. B and I had chosen seats near the ensemble, which included guitars, piano, accordion, tin whistle, fiddle, and hammered dulcimer, an instrument that Paul had both constructed and played. The gathering music took place at the beginning of the service rather than before it so that we could listen and reflect instead of being distracted by conversation.
The homily was given by Paul's son Isaac, who inherited his father's love of music and theology, studied them, and became both a professional musician and an ordained minister. Isaac used his father's love for the Book of Jonah as a lens to relate who his father was. It was moving and heart-felt and beautifully crafted. I'm sure Paul, who had served as a deacon and lay preacher himself, would have been proud. Isaac also played guitar and piano during the service.
During fellowship time after the service, B was able to connect with some retired IBMers who were in attendance and reminisce about Paul, including his adventures and misadventures building boats and taking them out on the waters. Fortunately, Paul's nautical journeys went better than Jonah's!
Later in the afternoon, I went to vigil mass at my home parish. The opening hymn was "Here I Am, Lord" which was the gathering song for Anita's funeral. At communion, we sang "Precious Lord, Take My Hand" which we had sung at Paul's memorial service. The echo of these songs calls me to reflect on what my call is at this time of my life, increasingly cognizant that I am much closer to the end of my life than the beginning.
Rest in peace, Anita. Rest in peace, Paul. Thank you for your example of how to live fully until the end.
*****
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